Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Where did I go over the last few months? Oh, the usual places. The astral plane for cartwheel lessons. Weekends spent enviously reading the entire blog archives of, like, real bloggers. Busy analyzing why my fingernails suddenly became brittle and incapable of growing more than a millimeter past my nail bed (diet? weather? pesticides? CANCER?!?).

But the important thing is that I am here, I am with you now and you're not alone anymore. Or, you know, whatever. WORDS. ON A PAGE. ON THE INTERNET.

I don't remember how to blog apparently.

But whoa buddy do I have a back-stock of wacky internet pictures to share and probably a story or two.

That person is not me. Because there is nothing discreet about my dancing through my local Trader Joe's. Have you listened to the music they play?!? It is ALWAYS rocking. 60's RnB and Rock. 70's Disco Hits. 80's Pop-Synth goodness. I walk in with the Gorgeous German and immediately start stepping in time to the tunes. I don't even realize the extent of my gesticulating about until he points out how cute it is that I am lip-synching "It's Raining Men" into a tube of goat cheese while re-stacking the cart so we don't squash the squash. YEAH, he finds the behavior endearing and not horribly embarrassing of me or kind of weird in a dangerous mental state kind of way for someone approaching 30. He's pretty into it actually. So if anything it is his fault for encouraging my storewide rampage.

We get all sorts of reactions. Like today, while I boogied down the frozen isle searching in vain for the GARLIC NAAN OF ADDICTIVE GOODNESS. My mister with his level head (literally as he isn't busy bouncing and bopping along) was able to spot it pretty much immediately which is good because I was starting to panic that they didn't carry it anymore and I just couldn't believe that. Have you tried it? Toss some olive oil on it when it comes out of the oven and jesus christo that and some greek yogurt with garlic and tomatoes is all I need for dinner. Yes, I have lovely breath all the time. Also, TJ's I will accept payment for this advertisement in GARLIC NAAN.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, reactions. I get lots of meaningfully raised eyebrows from older ladies who drive very fancy cars. Or maybe their foreheads are frozen and they just can't lower their brows anymore? Dude, botox/cosmetic surgery has made reading social cues even harder for me...

The TJ's guy that recommends wine seems to dig my vibe though. He has a Santa beard and instead of rosy cheeks has a bulbous, rosy nose so you know he takes his job as Wine Guy pretty seriously. I admire dedication to one's job. Maybe I should apply to be his apprentice. Or like the person who knows the flavor palette of the really cheap wines. Over $4.99? Psshhh, ask drunk Santa guy.

In case you are wondering, no this story has no point. Remember, I don't know how to blog anymore, so you just shut your dirty mouth! I mean, come back soon to see how far I tumble into incomprehensibility. It'll be fun!

Other pictures:

I cannot help but giggle every time I see this. It is internet gold.

And then to sum up todays post, I give you:

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? I have no idea, but maybe I'll start to figure it out again. And thanks for stopping by.

J'aime la Nourriture: Red Cabbage and Yam Stew

Something I really admire on other blogs are cooking features and since I am a fan of cooking, eating and have this pseudo-french theme thing going on, I figure why not run with it to excess and label my cooking series "J'aime la Nourriture" (I Love Food). So here we go, I Love Food: Red Cabbage and Yam Stew.

You guys, this stew. Mon fucking Dieu, this stew! It is tasty, healthy, mostly seasonal and not particularly challenging. I am so glad it made enough for plenty of leftovers, for reeeeeal.

Ingredients (in order of use):

All ingredients are very loosely measured because YOU CAN'T CAGE ME IN. Also, I believe cooking should be somewhat free-wheelin' slap-dash-y fun. Aaaand I don't have measuring cups besides a big glass one for liquid. So yeah.

1 healthy pour of olive oil

4 garlic cloves (smooshed/sliced)

1 red onion (chopped coarsely)

1 leek (sliced)

As many pinches of salt as needed

2 medium sized yams cubed (think bite size)

Dash of caraway seeds

Healthy dash of paprika

3 cups broth* (any kind will do, but I suggest veggie. More on this below)

2-3 bay leaves

Healthy dash of sage

Dash of red pepper flakes

2 cups water

1 can of diced tomatoes

1/2 head red cabbage (very coarsely chopped)

1 can of kidney beans

Garnish:

Scoop of light sour cream

Sprinkling of finely diced italian parsley

Sprinkling of ground flaxseed

Here is how it goes down:

Chop garlic, onion, leek, and yams.

Get yourself a large stock pot and put it on a medium/medium-high flame. Pour in olive oil and heat. Toss in garlic, leeks and onion. They should sizzle a bit and start smelling like you are an awesome chef immediately. Salt this awesomeness. (Basically salt every ingredient as you put it in to pull out flavor and juices. Seriously, SALT IT. It will seem like too much. It is not.) Stir it around for a couple of minutes. Add chopped yams. Again with the sizzle, but slightly less this time. Stir to coat with oil and the other stuff. Keep an eye on it and adjust the flame as needed. The goal is to get a little color on the bottom of the pot and let the veggies pick up some of this along with flavor. You do not want to burn them, because, eww burnt garlic is all kinds of funky. The yams should be cooked for 3-5 minutes, but let the color be your guide.

Stir in caraway seeds and paprika and let them coat the ingredients. Add stock. *Okay, so I used two kinds of stock that I had leftover. About 1 1/2 cups turkey stock that I had frozen and needed to use and 2 (ish) cups compost veggie stock I made this last weekend with beets, leeks, carrots, cabbage and few other things. Here is a basic recipe if you are interested in making it at home. Toss in the sage, bay leaves and red pepper flakes. Pour in some water to make sure you have lots of liquid as well as the can of tomatoes (with juices). Stir this up and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and set the timer for 20-25 minutes. Again, use the food as your guide instead of the clock if you can. When the yams start to get soft you are ready for your next step.

(Here it is without water and tomatoes)

(Here are the kidney beans [rinsed] and cabbage ready to dive in.)

Add cabbage and kidney beans and let these cook with the rest for 10-15 minutes. Really this time depends on how cooked you want your cabbage. I like mine with a little crunch left to them as well as good color, but there really is no bad way to finish the stew up at this point. Once you have reached the right amount of cooked through, be sure to taste the broth to check on salt and pepper levels. Adjust as you like. Top with garnish and serve with toasted rye bread or faux-crostinis (baked rye bread [sliced into 2 inch pieces] with olive oil, paprika, and garlic. Highly advisable). Finally, look awesome in your thrift store scored vintage apron and get ready to eat such a tasty meal.

Cat

I am nearly certain this is how my cat sees himself.

And then there was one

It's a new day and so it goes that there are probably 32,481 new blogs added to the blogosphere just in the last 24 hours, ranging in subject from claw-foot bathtubs to life on an island to deep fried foods. At least 14% of these new blogs will focus on cats. To this melee I am happy to add "I Love You To Madness." It is a yet-to-be-determined kind of blog, but I've got a good feeling. If you are coming over from my old blog, thank you for making the trip. I will try to reward you with awesomeness and funny pictures. Some things just don't change.

It shall be "l'area de oolala" from now on.

Just because: HAPPY!

It's true. C'est vrai.